Norwegian Spud

A rare species of potato, found by the florist Dr Spud, the first of the spud family. There is only one case of this known to mankind, called Ninki. She lives among us in the society of the North Shore Private schools. She has an incredibly boring life and you cant help but feel sorry for her, and her addiction to books. As evident in the script below, she can be overdramatic and hypercritical.

Sara: Hi I’m Sara and along with my fellow host Becksi, we’ll be hosting NINKI IS THE BEST today.
Becksi: Hey everyone!
Sara: Today, we’ll be interviewing none other than THE NORWEGIAN SPUD
(wild cheers and applause - enter Ninki, waving humbly)
Ninki: Thank you!

Becksi: how are you?
Ninki: Oh, splendid darling!
Sara: Well, that’s really pretty...
Ninki: Aww shucks.
Sara: Pretty ugly!!
Becksi: Sara!
Sara: lol sorry, You’re pretty
Ninki: Am I really?
Sara: ….Yeah?
Ninki: Or are you just stringing me along?
Sara: NO!! I would never-
Ninki: You already did your damage. Too little too late
Sara: Ninki-
Ninki: Save your words for court! When we fight for custody!
Sara: I have a son?
Ninki: no, I have a daughter! And it’s not yours
Sara: WHAT?
Becksi: It’s mine
Sara: I don’t understand
Ninki: That’s right it’s becksi’s, but I’ll fight you in court. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
Sara: ha
Ninki: What? Why dost thou laugh so?
Sara: I find it strange, typical or perhaps hypercritical…
Ninki: What?
Sara: You blame me for stringing you along and yet here you stand
Ninki: I’m sorry
Sara: Too late, I have cancer. I have one month left to live
Ninki: Then lets spend this last month together
Sara: No, I’ll spend it with Becksi, my one true love
Becksi: That’s right b*tch
(Becksi and Sara walk out, arm in arm. Ninki splutters in the background)
Ninki: but I’m the norwegian spud
(Has a heart attack)
(Dies)
THE END