nutjob

(noun) When someone gives you a blow job with a nutcracker.

I call her the sugarplum fairy, because she gave me a nutjob.

refocifreudophobia

(noun) The extreme or irrational fear that Sigmund Freud will come back to life and view your google docs, presumably in preparation to psychoanalyze you.

I just wrote a story with some really weird breastfeeding symbolism...Man, I’m getting refocifreudophobia just thinking about it.

wackjob

(noun) When someone gives you a hand job with a hammer.

She gave me a wackjob, dude. So much for ever having biological children.

womansplaining

Not to be confused with a feminine version mansplaining. What middle aged (often homophobic) women do to their kids.

“My mom told me that people are gay because they’re confused or following a trend.”
“No way- tell her to stop womansplaining.”