Random
Source Code
Random
The UK's answer to the wigger, with most of the black slang being lost in the move across the Atlantic and curiously replaced by Burberry. The attitude, utter uselessness, and tendancy to start reproducing before one is old enough to shave remains unchanged. Vehicle modification and aversion to legally purchased items are likewise similar. Minor regional variances in clothing and music tastes may occur, but do not hinder identification - if you've seen one, you will immediately be able to recognize the other types.
"Why's that guy got his tracksuit tucked into his socks?"
"That thing's a chav. Just like the ones you've got back home that wear their trousers with the crotch down at their ankles. We just don't have clothes big enough here, so they had to pick something else that looked just as stupid. But inside, they're all the same."
"Oh, a wigger? They've made it over here, too? The planet is doomed!"
12👍 2👎
Clothing with sewn in RFID security tags, rather than the pin on plastic type removed at the store, or ones stuck to the hang tags. Very commonly used by the Gap, Old Navy, and Banana Republic. Despite the "remove before wearing" printed on them, they're very frequently not noticed in items made of heavier material, particularly pants, until you go through a security gate at a store and beep. First you wave any bags you're carrying through, and find nothing beeps.
Then you take your cellphone out of your pocket. It's not that.
Then your keys.
Then your change.
Frustrated, embarassed, and completely bewildered at this time as to why you're still setting it off, you'll often still get through with just a hairy eyeball after they've seen enough of your stuff that they can tell you're probably not shoplifting, but it'll happen again, and again, until one day you accidentally stumble across the tag.
Trackerpants. They're out to get you.
(a common contributor to securapathy among shop staff)
*security beeper goes off*
"Oooh, look at that guy emptying all his pockets, what do you think he's got?"
"There's no security guard around, he's doing it all on his own. Looks like a classic case of trackerpants!"
The Portuguese answer to the wigger and the chav. Interests are typically skewed a little less to the rap/hip-hop music, and more to the antisocial behaviour, than the average wigger. Both genders appear to be attracted to brand names and bling like moths to a flame. Ed Hardy, Coach, and Vuitton are popular, however there is a near total absence of Burberry, and far fewer tracksuits than among the chav population. They typically roam in packs, and reproduce only slightly later than most chavs, possibly due to the disapproving immigrant parents they still live with.
The telltale sign of a PorkChav is having their own name tattooed somewhere on their bodies, though as it's unlikely anyone would try and return one home if found in a gutter, it's more likely that they simply have trouble remembering it.
"That's sweet that she's got her daughter's name on her arm, but isn't she a bit young?"
"She's a PorkChav. That's actually her own name. And next time you see her boyfriend, look at his neck..."
A catchall term for heartburn, acid reflux, ulcers, and other things where your stomach feels like it's digesting itself. Since for the most part, you take the same pills for them, there's rarely a need to differentiate in casual conversation.
"Oh man, I've got some killer gut rot, anyone got some Rolaids?" "Here, take a Zantac, it'll work better. And maybe you should stop working 80 hour weeks and eating garbage?"
32👍 30👎