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Derived from Illuminati, Veganaties are the enlightened vegans who feel the need to inform everyone of their superior dietary choices.
Having dinner with my cousin the veganati, I had to endure 2 hours hearing about his food choices and how chia pudding tastes better than cheesecake.
Having to admire your spouse's toned abs before they will have sex with you.
Now that my wife is doing pilates we have to engage in coreplay (me telling her what great abs she has) before we can have sex.
A $100 bill you carry with you which can only be used to go on an adventure or do something unexpected for the pure pleasure of it. Fundreds are not allowed to be used to pay bills or similar expenses. Carrying a Fundred reminds you to be on the lookout for opportunities for fun.
My wife and I were at a Cars and Copters show at the local airport. It was $50 per person to go on a helicopter ride. Weâd never been in a helicopter and since I had a Fundred with me, we decided to do it. It was Fundred well spent.
When no one will give you the gratification of a job well done, you are forced to masterbask in your own accomplishment.
No one would give me the credit I deserved for a great project at work, so I was forced to shut the door to my office and masterbask.
I had just finished painting the bathroom and showed my wife, she said "fine" but you have more work to do. I needed to masterbask in my accomplishment. Then I felt better.
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When you quote with confidence from a work of literature but get it horribly wrong.
I said to my wife, you know like in Moby Dick, âI am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.â To which she responded, thatâs from Little Women. Nice illiterary reference.
The futile endeavor of explaining to your pets what they did wrong and expecting them to understand.
I explained to my puppy why it was wrong for him to pee on the carpet. Two hours later he peed on the carpet again. I should have realized petsplaining doesnât work.
When a shortage of cocktail franks causes people to over-buy for the holiday season, leaving the shelves empty.
I was going to make piggies in a blanket for Christmas, then I discovered all the stores were sold out. I didnât realize there was a #RunOnTheFrank.