Thanksgiving

Modern Definition: An American tradition where people gorge on turkey until they puke and visit their relatives to eat even more turkey. Usually the stores start to get flooded with Christmas shoppers at this time.

Real meaning: Originally celebrated by the Pilgrims (early north-American settlers) as a remembrance of the time when they took full advantage of the local Native American tribes' knowledge of the land, invited them all over to a feast, slaughtered them all the next day, settled on their land, and looked westward to the vast, unconquered land that lay ahead of them.

I had barbecued pork ribs and fries on Thanksgiving day. To Hell with turkey. (heh heh heh)

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MTV

The motherfuckers who scrapped all the cool rock and hip-hopartists for non-singers like Eminem, Puff Daddy, Britney Spears, and Blink 182.

MTV might as well just call itself Karaoke Television (KTV).

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Native American

A proud descendent of the first group of humans to settle in the Americas. According to recent archaelogical findings, they migrated from Asia via glacier bridges and sea travel more than 12,000 years ago and within a short time, they branched off into thousands of unique cultures. Sadly, the North American natives were nearly exterminated by greedy and gold-thirsty European settlers who tricked them through the use of treaties, butchered entire cultures in the name of God, raped their women, stole their land, and infected them with smallpox, syphillis, and other deadly diseases. Today, what's left of the North American natives are now either drinking themselves to death on the reservations, or getting their sweet revenge by building casinos.

Although the South American natives were luckier than those of the north, they were mostly converted to Catholicism, forced to speak Spanish, and what little earnings they make are sent to the modern Roman capital known as the Vatican.

Today, the descendents of the European settlers add insult to injury by honoring a holiday called Thanksgiving, which basically celebrates how their ancestors ass-raped and culled back the once widespread Native American population.

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vegetarian

If you eat birds and marine animals, and any products made from animals, YOU ARE NOT A VEGETARIAN! And animal products include Jello, yogurt, ice-cream, butter, and eggs. Dumbass.

Vegetarian: I have been a vegetarian for eight years and I eat chicken, duck, fish, crabs, lobsters, shrimp, and oysters.
Meat Eater: (laughing) You are not a vegetarian.
Vegetarian: Yes I am.
Meat Eater: (pulls out biology book) Let's see here...(turns to bird anatomy) I certainly don't see plants with these kinds of organs...(turns to fish anatomy) or these organs...(turns to lobster anatomy) or these organs...(turns to oyster anatomy) or these organs. Have you even seen any of these animals while they are alive? What makes them so different from eating a dead cow or pig or sheep?
Vegetarian: (embarrased) Um...er...it's just that...um...I don't eat red meat, yeah and....um...red meat is blood meat..and..and..I DON'T LIKE BLOOD!
Meat Eater: But still you eat meat, and if you eat meat you are not a vegetarian.
Vegetarian: But..but..I AM! You're trying to deceive me!
Meat Eater: I'm deceiving you? You said you are a vegetarian but you eat meat. Both are contradictory.
Vegetarian: Fuck you! Fuck you and burn in Hell with your murderous meat eating evil (stabs Meat Eater with hidden knife).
Meat Eater: (groaning in pain) Wow. I thought vegetarians were actually peaceful, reasonable people.

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outsourcing

An easy method for corporations to maximize their profits and avoid the unions at the same time. Basically, it involves moving one's business to another part of the world where people will willingly under slavelike conditions and for 1/10 the pay of a Poverty-Class American worker.

See outsource and globalization for more definitions.

Outsourcing is creating a major economic boom, but piss-poor levels of domestic job growth because the Third World has all the employees the corporations need.

Oh, and the executives are pocketing the profits too.

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immigrant

Politically correctslang for "slave". Basically, immigration was the United States's perfect way of coping with the abolishment of slavery because all it had to do was lure the unfortunate souls from their home countries into America with its bullshit "Land of Opportunity" advertisements, and cruelly exploit them like animals for years, even their entire lives, while dangling the green card just out of their reach.

American: Immigrants are sub-humans in our eyes, but we can easily make them work for 80-hours a week for $1.50 an hour if we want to because they have no rights in our country!

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Amway

This pyramid scheme/Multi-Level Marketing cult is also known as Quickstar or Quixtar.

This cult reaps huge profits from making expensive motivational videoes/tapes and numerous seminars which basically try to convince you to purchase even more motivational videoes/tapes. To even make a profit from selling their ridiculously EXPENSIVE product line, you have to already have a shitload of money, preferrably in the hundred$ of thou$and$, which is why they have celebrities and sports-stars promoting their crap.

I made the terrible mistake of attending an Amway/Quickstar seminar last week. 146 minutes of my life wasted listening to a bunch of rich white people preaching religious sermons about how their products will "change your life" if you purchase their motivational crap in order to become even more interested in their cult and their pricey products.

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