Random
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Random
A fireworks monkey is a monkey tied to a large fireworks rocket.
The screeching on the way up is amazing.
On the way down - not so much.
The kids at the 4th of July picnic eagerly lined up to watch the fireworks monkey show.
They were not disappointed.
3π 5π
Ped O'Bear is a happy Irish bear who loves kids.
As a special treat he'll let them suck on the beef jerky lollipop he keeps in his pants.
Lil Jessie: Wow, this lollipop tastes great!
Ped O'Bear: Keep sucking and you'll get to the delicious cream filling.
Lil Jessie: Oh boy!
22π 7π
Pedobear is a friendly bear who rides a moped.
He often gives rides to kids.
"Hi," said pedobear to little Jimmy, "I'm looking for a lost puppy. Would you like to get on my moped and help me find him?"
'Sure," said Jimmy, brushing back his blond curls, "do you have any candy?
256π 175π
Roast basset is what happens to basset hounds who misbehave.
"This roast basset is delicious," said Mrs. Pevensey, "was he very naughty?"
"Ooh yes," said Mrs. Penzance, "muddy feet, you know,"
"Mmm, terrible," said Mrs. Pevensey, "but to be fair, this roast testicle is scrumptious."
5π 3π
A shartasm is an orgasm accompanied by a shart.
"What's that awful stench?" asked Tony, pausing mid stroke.
"I just had a shartasm," said Suzy, grinning weakly.
7π 1π
"I must ask you to eat crap sandwiches, you Malthusian monkey molester," is the definitive, empirically tested retort which wins an argument forever, and for which no come back is possible.
Edbogard: .. and so I think that Sartre was essentially in error when he mistook the homology between ontogeny and...
Pasco: Arrgh! I can't take it any more! I must ask you to eat crap sandwiches, you Malthusian monkey molester!
Edbogard: I...
*thud*
Roast monkey nuts is a painful medical condition where a monkey sits or sleeps too close to a fire and suffers burned nads.
Our backyard camping trip was going great until "Cheetah" fell asleep next to the fire.
We had to take him to EMS with roast monkey nuts.
4π 2π