reverse gerbilling

Reverse gerbilling is where a person tries to insert themselves into a gerbil's anus.

Very often has explosive results.

When Raoul heard the small muffled explosion and saw Manuel covered in gerbil guts, he knew he'd been reverse gerbilling again.

9👍 1👎

did you have sex with my barn owl

Did you have sex with my barn owl is what to ask when you find your barn owl at the neighbor's, dressed in gaudy lingerie and smelling of cheap booze and jizz.

A positive answer can wreck a barn owl's reputation.

Frontenac was obliged to ask, "Did you have sex with my barn owl?" when he found "Barney" at his neighbor's in a compromising position.

He was extremely relieved to hear the answer, "No, we just got to third base."

16👍 15👎

ham job

A ham job means whacking off a pig.

"Mr. Porky" came running when the ham job bell rang.

Seconds later he was getting some hot manual loving from the Miss Piggy glove.

12👍 32👎

homo fart

A homo fart is a guy blowing off a semen-filled fart.

"Did you just blow a homo fart?" asked Nathan.

"Er... of course not," stammered Luigi.

"I can smell the jizz, dude," said Nathan.

Luigi turned bright red and ran away.

19👍 11👎

roast monkey nuts

Roast monkey nuts is a painful medical condition where a monkey sits or sleeps too close to a fire and suffers burned nads.

Our backyard camping trip was going great until "Cheetah" fell asleep next to the fire.

We had to take him to EMS with roast monkey nuts.

4👍 2👎

I must ask you to eat crap sandwiches, you Malthusian monkey molester

"I must ask you to eat crap sandwiches, you Malthusian monkey molester," is the definitive, empirically tested retort which wins an argument forever, and for which no come back is possible.

Edbogard: .. and so I think that Sartre was essentially in error when he mistook the homology between ontogeny and...

Pasco: Arrgh! I can't take it any more! I must ask you to eat crap sandwiches, you Malthusian monkey molester!

Edbogard: I...

*thud*

grandmaster of bation

A grandmaster of bation is someone who is internationally celebrated for blowing spunk from his junk to virtuosic standards.

Often results in great riches and fame.

Fred: You remember Ned who used to live in his mom's basement and play video games and whack off all the time?

Ted: Yeah...

Fred: Well, now he's a grandmaster of bation and lives in a villa on the Riviera.

Ted: OMFG! I'm so jealous!