euphanism

noun. pronunciation key. "yoof-anism"

(1) A neologism combining euphemism and onanism.
(2) Any colloqialism for masturbation.

"Making the bald man cry" is a euphanism.

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bearly

acting in the manner of, or having the personality of a bear.

John gave George a bearly hug as they came out of Brokeback Mountain

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arsecakerandom

A totally futile, random variable thrown into an argument for effect more than content.

"I dunno, what if arsecakerandom blokes came in armed with baguettes and demanded you stop surfing the web, would that do it?"