mofocious

adjective: exibiting the behavior or qualities of a motherfucker

Tailgaters are the most mofocious people around!

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greetard

noun: Wal-Mart "greeter"

"No, I don't want to go to Wal-Mart, Phillip. Those greetards always try to put a sticker on my bottled water, so they can feel safer that I didn't shoplift it. Sometimes the greetards even check my receipt when I'm leaving. I don't like being treated like a criminal. Let's go to K-Mart or Target instead."

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suckrule

adjective: a thing or situation that sucks and rules, simultaneously

Used to describe a odd combination of feeling pleased, but irritated as well. Note that when a situation suckrules, the two opposing emotions do not cancel each other out, they co-exist.

If the electricity goes off at work, and you have to leave at lunch, you have half the day off, but only half a day's pay. This suckrules.

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sh'faced

adjective: synonym for shit-faced, to be excessively intoxicated

I tired of you getting sh'faced and puking in the house!

grub

verb: to eat, especially heartily
grubbed: past tense of grub

My stomach's eating my backbone dude, let's stop and grub.

Dude, I left my shades back where we grubbed!

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customer

noun:
1. a respected client or patron that financially supports an establishment by using their services or purchasing their merchandise.
2. (in some stores) A common criminal that must be watched, video taped, herded through electronic detection devices like cattle and have their purchases riffled through & checked against the receipt by friskers at the exit of the store.

Store owner 1: "My customers are the most valued asset of my business. I'll not have them disturbed or badgered in any way."

Store boner 2: "Customer is just another word for an undetected criminal. If I had my way, I'd have the customers turn out their pockets before they leave, and have their purses, strollers and everything searched as well. In fact, that's what I'm working towards. Slowly, I remove one respectful treatment after another, until I am finally strip searching the customers as they leave. It's similar to the gradual way the Hitler removed the rights of the Jews prior to the holocaust, one by one. After a while, they will expect to be treated as the criminals that I'm sure the lot of them are, and will even defend my right to do it. And the best part is, the cost of all this added security won't increase the prices, because when I increase the security, I'll just decrease the customer service to compensate."

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frisker

noun: 1. people stationed at the exit of a store to check you merchandise and receipt, to ensure that you have not shoplifted anything that the plain-clothed security personnel, ubiquitous cameras and hidden tag scanners did not detect

2. people employed by a store to treat you like a criminal, immediately after you just spent money in that store

Note: the greetard is sometimes tasked with double duty, as a frisker (see greetard),
Friskers are most usually found in Wal-Mart, Best Buy and Costco, although they are by no means limited to these establishments.
Friskers will almost always lie about the reason, when asked why they are checking your bag (ironic, since they are there to ensure honesty from the customer, but these store representatives are not bound by any code of honesty themselves).

"Phillip, let's go to Circuit City instead. The price is the same, and we won't be treated like criminals by the friskers when we leave the store."

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