sential thief

Either someone you live with or a guest in your shared house that regularly and consistently steals everyone elses essentials - like bread, milk, toothpaste, toilet paper, shampoo etc, without ever re-paying or replacing.

Steve: Hey d'ya mind if my buddy Craig comes to stay a while?

Greg: No way man. Last time that guy stayed it cost me a fortune, he's a friggin' sential thief!

4👍 3👎

ratfish

A derogatory term used to call someone who is not only dim witted but ugly as well.

Person 1: You know I went out with her because I felt sorry for her being pig-ugly but I bet you didn't know that I used to do her homework as well 'cos she was so thick!

Person 2: Shit, so you mean she was a total ratfish then?

Person 1: Yeah.

2👍 5👎

bollock eyes

When someone is completely blind to a situation.

Person 1: Did you hear that Charlie got passed over for that promotion again?

Person 2: Jeesus, that's like the 20th time isn't it. When is that guy gonna learn that he's wasted 30 years of his life in that job - we've known for years that he's just not cut out for that type of work!

Person 1: Yeah I know, he's so fucking blind to his situation though - stupid bollock eyed prick!!

Person 2: Yeah, those fucking bollock eyes of his - Jeesus!

system addict

Brainwashed human (typically from the Western hemisphere) that believes that they cannot live without the trappings of western life. Eg: they will exhibit extremely neurotic behaviour if they are ever without their mobile-phone, television, gameboy, i-pod, fast-food, car, make-up etc.

Extra Terrestrial 1: These humans are funny creatures - they could live in perfect harmony with their planet but instead they choose to create systems and structures that become huge distractions from the truth.

ET 2: Yes, then they become addicted to that which they have created. I think that makes them system addicts just like the now extinct Grippolians.

7👍 3👎

Doppler shit

The annoying situation of trying to shit in a public lavatory which suddenly becomes busy with people. Effort is made to shit as quietly as possible but failure to do so leads to a loud embarassing splash which is clearly heard by all. So named after the "Doppler effect", whereby a moving object emanating sound, changes pitch as it's distance to the subject listening increases/decreases.

(1) Man(upon rejoining his wife): Honey, I'm so embarassed - do you think they're all looking at me 'cos they know it was me that Doppler shitted?

(2) Hey, I think that's the guy that laid that Doppler shit we heard earlier. Noisy fucker couldn't control it - shoulda put down some paper first.

13👍 3👎

taylor grief

An exclamation of upset or calamity, though normally associated with the disbelief of a situation (slightly humourous). A little stronger than "good grief" but nowhere near as strong and a lot more humourous than "shit" or "fuck it".

For the 3rd time that morning Ricky dropped his toast & marmalade on the kitchen floor and once again it landed marmalade side down - "Taylor grief", he muttered to himself.

2👍 7👎

pickus digitus

The fairly common act exhibited by someone when nervous, worried or scared about a situation. Symptoms involve the removal of skin from around the nail area of a finger(s) - either using fingers or teeth.

Joey: I don't know wot you're worried about man, I mean you studied hard for that exam - I don't get why you need to pickus digitus.

Rick: Yeah you're right, but it's this bad habit I got.

1👍 1👎