cock extension

any firearm owned by a paranoid, limp-dick, gun infatuated NRA true believer

It was the neighbor's cat, not an arab terrorist you fucking retard. Holster that cock extension before somebody gets hurt.

5👍 10👎

buttslammin'

Term of enthusiastic approval, usually pertaining to something of relatively minor importance.

dude 1: Dude, they got cases of Papst for 8.99 over at Hagen!

dude 2: Buttslammin'!

1👍 3👎

Senator Blumkin

A United States senator busted for soliciting anonymous gay mens-room sex while publicly condemning such acts (Larry Craig, R Id). Such a person is:

1.) run out of the government by his "allies" in the nutcase right
2.) condemned as a hypocrite by the gay/lesbian community
3.) pointed to and laughed at by everybody else

Senator Blumkin's career came to a screeching halt during the summer of '07, but his legend shall live on in infamy.

8👍 2👎

slip signer

A person court ordered to attend AA meetings who never speaks and stays only long enough to get their slip signed by the chair person.

"Hi, I'm Jim and I'm an alcoholic. I'd just like to listen today."

"Slip signer," the rest of the room thinks in unison.

Bavarian Cream

A Bavarian Cream is when you carefully shit on the rim of a toilet, then mash it with the toilet seat.

Right before he left on his last day, Sheldon did a Bavarian Cream in the employee men's room. Apparently he wasn't interested in a good referral

16👍 6👎

short bus window licker

Somebody profoundly lacking in personal dignity and social grace. While not actually mentally disabled, such persons are often so enabled by family members or sympathetic friends that they become hopelessly unaware of the ridicule, revulsion, or downright murderous rage that they evoke from everybody else.

I don't care if he's our ride home. If that short bus window licker doesn't stop yelling at the movie screen I'm going to break a bottle over his fucking head.

50👍 18👎

one five three rule

Unspoken but widely understood rule regarding selecting a public urinal, specifically if there are five urinals to choose from. If all are unoccupied you choose the one on the far left (1). If this one is occupied you choose the far right one (5). If both are occupied you choose the center one (3). The object is to maximize the space between yourself and anybody else who currently has their shlong out.

urinator 1) "Hey buddy, one five three rule. Scoot over."

*scoots over*

urinator 2) "Sorry, wasn't thinking"

20👍 3👎