jedi mind trick

A method by which Luke Skywalker can do everything but get laid.

Luke: "You want to drag me into the back of the Millenium Falcon. You want to screw me silly. You want to screw me silly..."

Han: "Fuck your Jedi mind trick! My door still ain't swingin' that way."

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unix

The plural form of eunuch.

A Dilbert comic strip...

The Boss: "My boss says we need some eunuch programmers."

Dilbert says: "I think he means Unix, not eunuchs. And I already know Unix."

The Boss: "If the company nurse drops by, tell her I said 'never mind.'"

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Oasis

NOT the Beatles.

Did some fine things back in the '90's, though. "Cast No Shadow" is pretty good.

"And by the way, could we stop with the Hussein-Hitler analogies? Saddam Hussein is Hitler like Oasis was the Beatles. Everyone rushes into a comparison with the giants in the industry, be it pure evil or the music business - not that those are two different things." -- Bill Maher

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merde

French for "shit". Suitable for describing just about everything in my life right now.

Rimbaud once scrawled "Merde a Dieu!" (shit on God) as graffiti in Paris.

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eunuch

1) a male whose balls have been removed, either for government service (such as in ancient Africa and Rome) or, if the castration takes place before puburty, to prevent the voice from breaking (Italian opera's male sopranos of the 17th thru 19th centuries). In the present day, this sort of eunuch may result from testicular cancer.

2) a male whose entire genitalia is removed. Done as punishment in Ancient Rome, and to qualify for royal government service in China as recently as the 20th century. Also, the hijdra, a caste of Indian transexuals, practice this complete castration.

3) though rarely applied in this context, may also be a male with a single testicle amputated. A modern example would be Tom Green, who broadcast the operation on MTV and then went on to bang Drew Barrymore.

Not to be confused with Unix, a computer operating system believed to be superior to more mainstream options like Windows and Mac.

That guy's SUV is huge! He's overcompensating for so much, he must be a eunuch.

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castrati

The plural of castrato.

Not to be confused with bishi, though they look exactly the same.

Am I the only one who thinks that all thin, long-limbed, and androgenous anime boys look like castrati?

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pair

A dude's two testicles.

This guy is such a wuss, he acts like he doesn't even have a pair.

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