Colesworths

noun

1. An Australian supermarket chain that simultaneously brings prices down, homogenises culture and offers the choice to buy what they tell you.

2. colloq. The pinnacle of the great Australian share-owning dream.

usage:

1. Farmer: It's all fuckin' Colesworths' fault.
Truck driver: I fuckin' hate these Colesworths slave driving cunts.
Hippy: Over my dead body will a fuckin' Colesworths be built here.

2. If these shares do a Colesworths, my empty life will have meaning.

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New Zealand

(proper) noun.

A mythical place in the southern Pacific Ocean made of clouds, that was invented by Australians.

Legends that ascribe "New Zealand" to be the birthplace of a variety of Australian celebrities, including Ernest Rutherford, Edmund Hillary, Burt Munro, Russell Crowe, Keith Urban and Sonny Bill Williams, can be traced back to early social engineering attempts undertaken by radical left-wing political movements that are also responsible for a once widely circulated urban myth: that the British couldn't conquer "New Zealand" and so had to sign treaties with the original inhabitants.
Various popular musical bands also claim to be "from New Zealand", such as Crowded House, Fat Freddy's Drop and Flight of the Conchords, though this is usually not part of a crazy belief system, but a clever marketing ploy.
The famous poet and philosopher, Munter, sometimes describes his ancestry as originating in "New Zealand", though this is usually a reference to his earlier work where he disproved the theory of epiphenomenalism.

see also: New Zealander adjective derrog..
Rugby players that happen to be drunkards, sheep molesters and adults that have difficulty with shoes, as depicted in the Australian historical docu-drama "Footrot Flats", are also frequently referred to as New Zealanders.

High School Student (drunk): 'Wun ee grew oop, ee winna bi uhn Oozie, eh bro, ow'.

Teacher: 'Don't give up Jerome; you're nearly ready for crayons...baby steps...and please, just call me "Miss"; it will more than double your productivity rate'.

High School Student: 'Oo kah eh bro, noo woories ow bro, jest coz oo cull mi uh New Zealander, yis or stull oolright, yeh Oz- ut's chooiice izzzz, eh? Ow.'

Teacher: 'Any more talk of this, "New Zealand" nonsense, and I'll have you banned from Rugby'.

High School Student: 'Chooiice izzz broo'

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