Turtle Sex

When a guy talks up his game, claiming he can hit it hard and fast, but when it comes down to it, fucks no better than a turtle.

Friend 1: "Hey! How was last night?"
Friend 2: "It was absolutely awful! He kept telling me how hard he wanted to fuck me, but then he was like a turtle, moving so slow! There's no other way to explain it besides Turtle Sex."

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