Plainedge

Plainedge. Glorious fucking Plainedge.

Plainedge is, hands down, the shittiest town in the United States. Not because it's dangerous or poor; shit no, there's enough rich white people that if they pooled all their money they'd feed all of Africa for like 50 years. No, Plainedge is shitty because there's absolutely dick to do. At ALL times. You know how most towns have at least one distinguishing characteristic or place that kicks ass that no one else has?

Yeah, Plainedge doesn't have one of those.

The closest thing to a 'landmark' in Plainedge is fucking Harmon's, a shitty little convenience store that all the freshmen and sophomores smoke tons of weed and become alcoholics behind. It always smells like shit because of how much everyone pisses and throws up behind it, but goddamn if everyone isn't there.

If you're not behind Harmon's, you're either hanging out at the High School, Packard, Schwarting, Eastplain or West. At these locations, you have a choice of 3 exciting activities; Drinking, Smoking Weed, or taking care of your friends that are about to fall over dead from too much of the previous 2 choices. That's it. That's all there is to do in Plainedge. Weed and Alcohol. All day. Every day. FOREVER. Get fucked up, go home, and play Halo/jack off/fuck your girlfriend or boyfriend/whatthefuckEVER.

There are no positive aspects of Plainedge. I mean, seriously, where the fuck do people die of heroin overdoses (RIP Natalie) besides motherfucking PLAINEDGE?

Plainedge is a shit town, and you're a dumbass if you think otherwise.

But I'm pretty sure everyone in Plainedge can agree that they'd never want to live anywhere else.

PLAINEDGE. SUCKS. DICKS.

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