Facebook

Facebook (It doesn’t deserve a big heading)
A social networking site that makes it ok for people to stalk one another, lets teenage girls pose holding drinks with less than 1% alcohol, and makes even the dropkicks look like social suaves. A place where people pretend to have heaps of friends that, really they have only made eye contact with and a place where you can talk to that HAWT BOI at the bus stop without being a complete dickhead (because as we all know, saying something over the computer is much more acceptable than saying it face to face!)

And for those who say, “I just want it to catch up with friends that I haven’t seen in a long time” there might be a reason why you haven’t seen them in a while…THEY DON’T LIKE YOU! That or you are just a tool and think it’s ok to stalk people. And since when did going on the computer become cool?!?!

One of my friend’s said to me, “Oh my god! You don’t have a Facebook! Do you have a life?” Very, VERY ironic. I’m the one without a life talking to my friends on the phone or in person and you have the most fulfilling life sitting on the computer talking to your posse of BAAAAAAABY GURLZZZZZ!

Why would everyone want to know what everyone else is doing? “Oh boy! Cindy wrote on Shamus’ wall!” WHO GIVES A RATS!?! What an invasion of privacy! And then you get the kids “facebooking” (apparently that’s a verb now) at school. *sigh* will you ever learn? Oh, we can all see the point of talking to someone on Facebook when they’re sitting next to you… BECAUSE IT’S DIGITAL WHICH MAKES IT WAY MORE FUN THAN ENGAGING IN ACTUAL CONVERSATION!

It’s all in the name…FACEBOOK. A book of your FACE, not your breasts, 6 pack, or stiletto bearing legs! Who wants to comment on blurry photos of an arm, leg, ear, eye in your album “MY TOTS DRNKN NITE OUT WIF ALL MA CREW?” The answer to that…OTHER FACEBOOK LOSERS LIKE YOURSELF!

A social networking site…dear me, that does sound a lot like those dating services with all the desperate men looking for love and a good time. Oh yes indeed, everyone’s favourite social networking site, Facebook is definitely the place to be because you can be just like fat and greasy Peter on Lava Life reloading his profile every 0.18 of a second to see if anyone’s commented on his pictures (which have obviously been photoshopped) to see if anyone finds him remotely SXC or interesting. News for you greasy Peter and all-to-similar Facebookers, you are stupid!

I must give this complete, waste of time site some credit though…you are better than “slutsville” and “pimp-wannabe” Myspace. Having fake friends, mmmm yeah I can live with that. But rating friends, that is just RIDICULOUS! Myspace; where a normal conversation sounds like, “PLZ COMMENT ON MA HAWT NEW PICS BABEEEEEEZ! ILY MWA” And if one dares not to… “OMFG! WTF! U TOTS DIDN’T COMMENT ON MA PIC WIF ME DRINKING A CRUISA! YOR TOTS MOVING DOWN MA TOP FRIENDS! BIATCH” Nuff said.

In conclusion, sure, it’s ok to have a Facebook. Hell, someone made a fake one for me, probably so they could have another friend on their HUGE list (pfft, jerks!). But I tip my hat to the people that have not fallen into this trap. Not the people who have one who just haven’t become addicted; you’re good, but you’re still an idiot! I salute those who have phone conversations and go over to people’s houses to make verbal conversation. Hell, I’ll even salute telegrams if they’re bold enough. But there is no way that I would ever salute the self-obsessed boys and girls (notice how I didn’t say men and women, because these people are quite childish) that centre their lives on stalking other boys and girls. You are what I like to call…a moron.

Facebook loser: I have a facebook. That means I'm a moron

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