APUSH

A highly ritualized form of suicide usually affecting high school juniors. APUSH kills by forcing so many facts, names, and dates into a person's head that it actually explodes.
Sometimes, an APUSH fails to kill the person and instead kills their GPA, leaving them untouchable to all colleges (even those that advertise on TV).

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn Jane. For some reason, she thought that APUSH wouldn't kill her, even though it has already killed so many others."

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