Jew

1. A person who's mother is Jewish and a person who follows and believes in the Jewish religion.

2. NOT, contrary to popular belief, and insult.

3. The creators of South Park.

1. Oy Vey, Moishe's Bar Mitzvah is tomorrow!

2. Cartman: Stfu you Jew!
Retarded, ignorant teenager: haha! Since Cartman said it, it must be an insult!
*Later*
Retarded, ignorant teenager: Hey, Jon, your a Jew!
Retarded, ignorant teenager 2: Hey wtf man your a Jew!

3. Anti-semetic: Ha! South Park is so great!
Some guy: You do realize the creators of that show are Jewish, right?
Anti-semetic: Bullshit! Are you a Jew?

2302👍 1130👎

Messiah

A guy who will bring peace to the world and blah blah blah.
People think Jesus is the Messiah and king of Jews, which is retarded cause all he brought was war and pain, centuries after, like when Christians blamed Jews for Jesus' death and they were to ignorant to realize All of Jesus' disciples were Jewish, not Just Judas, and they didn't just kill Jews. They killed Muslims, Native Americans, and anyone else who didn't follow their faith. And He isn't the King of the Jews. God is the King of the Jews.

1. Christian from the Middle Ages: Thou shalt go to Hell because your a Jew! Now don't give this Jew any respect because he killed Jesus, the Messiah! KILL HIM!
Jew from the Middle Ages: I am simply trying to make a living as a farmer and meanwhile crusaders come and kill my family after raping my wife and daughter. WHAT DID I DO??

2. Christian from the 20th century: Hey, ain't you a Jew?
Jew from the 20th century: Problem?
Christian from the 20th century: YOU KILLED JESUS!!!
Jew from the 20th century: No, I didn't.
Christian from the 20th century: Yea you did!
Jew from the 20th century: Go away.

3. Christian in the 21st century: Hi, would you like to be a Christian?
Jew from the 21st century: No.
Christian in the 21st century: But Jesus will save you. THANK THA LORD!
Jew from the 21st century: Um...goodbye..

60👍 131👎

Doggy Penis

An uncircumcised dick, or a dick that needs cleaned and has a lot of STD's.

Slutty chick: OMG, that guy has a doggy penis!
Slutty chick 2: Ew...

9👍 14👎

Star Wars Day

1. A day in which the true fans of George Lucas' series celebrate by recreating lightsaber duels, watching all six movies, and playing Star Wars video games.

2. May 25th, since almost nothing having to do with Star Wars happened on the 4th. On the 25th, the original movie came out, AND It's the real Star Wars Day of L.A., whereas the 4th is unofficial entirely. A Star Wars book was published on the 4th. That's it. The book wasn't even that good.

Wanna-be Star Wars Geek: May the 4th be with you is funny, so that's Star Wars Day!
REAL Star Wars Geek: FUCK YOU!! Stupid ignorant shit! Go on Wookieepedia.com, look up May 4th, and THEN look up May 25th!! You'll see that MANY more Star Wars events happened on the 25th, you dumbass Nerf Herder!

36👍 24👎

Jon Stewart

Someone who is and always will be 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
times better and smarter than Glenn Beck.

(Regarding a CNN anchor's unwillingness to challenge a guest who used phony statistics to prove a point.)

'Why don't you call them on their bullshit?! You're an anchor for fuck's sake!'-
Jon Stewart

401👍 232👎

Emo

Someone who doesn't realize a lot of people have worse lives than they do. Usually spoiled, and are attention-seeking pussies. When their pissed, they go and cry in their rooms and write poems.

I saw this emo kid and got really pissed off. He was fucking crying, probably because his parents took away his razor.

He doesn't realize some people his age have no parents to take care of them, and others his age are starving.

9👍 10👎