The Bastard

An alcohol induced metamorphosis affecting insecure, overweight, unbathed, culturally and sexually confused pretending to be young but actually old, gay chinese males. During this metamorphosis the ability to rationalize or comprehend the enviroment around them is completely perished. The affected will begin throwing a child like tantrum which may include emotional outbursts, destruction of property, transfixion on a particular issue, crying, and partial nudity. becoming the bastard is irreversible until the afflicted has completely sobered up and undergone proper rest. typically the bastard sufferers memory will be erased the following day and they will not recall the episode despite evidentual text messages and multiple witnesses at the scene.

"i'm tired of being the bastard" followed by smashing of jack daniels bottle.

"oh i'm not allowed on your table huh? oh well i might just try and BREAK IT!" while jumping on a table.

*crying profusely* followed by pants falling down.

*being a 95% homosexual*

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