poofume

anything one grabs for in a guest's bathroom to cover up the lingering small after taking a surprise dump.

After dropping a deuce and not wanting to be found out, she reached for anything with a spray nozzle to act as a poofume to cover up the smell.

3👍 3👎

hammer jammered

REALLY drunk. more than hammered.

I was at the bar last week and was so hammer jammered I don't even know WHAT I said to that guy. It was a guy right??

3👍 2👎

wear your boobs

when you aren't quite sure what to wear out on a date, or out with your friends, or to your next big event...so you work what you have and wear a really low cut top or something with lots of cleavage to distract men from what you're wearing.

"OMG, Karen...what the HELL am I going to wear to the bar on Friday?"
"Screw it. It's hot out. Wear your boobs."

5👍 2👎

barbow

when someone (usually a drunk) has nasty tore up elbows from leaning up on the bar repeatedly.

Annie totally has barbow from hanging out at the bar EVERY NIGHT.

4👍 1👎

Samsonite syndrome

people who tan WAAAAAAAY too much and have leathery skin like a suitcase.

did you see that old cougar at the pool? She totally has Samsonite syndrome, all she needs is a handle.

6👍 1👎

celebridey

a celebrity bride

I am so sick of seeing these Celebrideys on the cover of US Weekly. Who cares who won the Bachelor and who she ends up with? They all break up anyways!

Gosselin moment

when you suddenly decide, after several episodes of your reality show have already filmed and aired, that you don't want your children to be filmed any longer. a la Jason Mesnick and his son Ty on the bachelor wedding last night.

Jason says, "...we have decided he shouldn't appear on camera anymore." "OMG, how lame. He totally had a Gosselin moment."

5👍 6👎