Nazi Bar Problem

The problem when you own a space that if you let certain groups of people in, such as, in this example, Nazis, you'll literally drive everyone else away from your space, so that what started off as a normal, ordinary space will become, essentially, a Nazi bar.

It's not only Nazis — it can be fascists, white supremacists, meth-heads, PUAs, cryptocurrency fanboys — some groups will be so odious to others that they will drive everyone else from your space, so the only solution that you can enact is to ensure that they don't come to your place, even if they're nice and polite and "follow your rules", because while they might, their friends won't, those friends have a history of driving away other people from other spaces.

Yeah, he kicked you out of the Discord, but he has the Nazi Bar Problem to deal with — he can't just let you in, you and your friends would drive away his other server members.

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Xennial

A terrible word used by early Millenials (born circa early 1980s) to disassociate themselves from those other younger millenials and to tell their Boomer parents and Gen-Xer elder siblings that they aren't like those other young people, they're not cringe, or whatever it is young people use today, they remember what it was like when VCR was king and TVs were made out of cathode tubes and there was no Internet.

Fallen out of disuse when those so-called Xennials realized that it doesn't matter how not-cringe you are, they're still gonna kill you with wage theft, student debt, and all the other tools of generational class war at their disposal.

Unlike those other Millenials, I am a Xennial, and I know what it is like to live without smartphones glued to my face every day.

No one cares, Kathy, we're all getting murdered with student debt, just lift your picket sign higher and shout louder.

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reinventing the bus

Like “reinventing the wheel”, but for techbros.

More precisely, it is to spend an incredible amount of money, time and mental effort to finally come to a solution that was actually figured out decades or even centuries ago.

Bonus points if you end up making yet another app using the blockchain, so that in order for you to use it, you need to put your SSN on a distributed public ledger so that it can get pwned by Russian hackers.

“Ok, pitch it.”

“Ok so like basically we get people to pool their money together into one thing and then invest that thing into Bitcoin and use the profits from that investment to pay everyone involved once a month, and then when someone dies their portion of the investment goes to the other participants.”

“…you just described a tontine.”

“A what?”

“A tontine. The thing you're describing. It's been around since the 17th century. Are you reinventing the bus again?”

“No way, man! This one's different, this one uses JIT-compiled vue.js and blockchain smart contracts to keep track of the system!”

“Brilliant. Here's a million dollars, we're gonna be rich!”

pareto-

Roughly but not exactly.

Like, when you say pareto-80 you don't exactly mean 80 percent, you really mean, roughly four out of five. Pareto-20 means one out of five, and saying that a scheme will likely fail at pareto-5 means it'll go okay so long as we don't roll a natural 1.

So, like, 20 percent of respondents say that—

That's bullshit, you pulled that number out of your ass.

Pareto-20, man. You're right, it's... (checks notes) closer to 18 percent, but that's not much of a difference, is it?

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CIO

Chief Information Officer. If you read the industry publications, Chief Information Officers are at the vanguard of today's information-centric workplace. In practice, it's basically some poor schlub who's been given a fancier “IT Manager” hat, who's been given the responsibility to fix the dumpster fire that is your IT Systems, by giving “suggestions” that are roundly ignored by the Board while the CEO and CFO pilfer the coffers to buy hookers and blow, and to play the role of fall guy when the whole scam collapses.

You got promoted to CIO? Oh, you have my condolences.

mathwashing

The act of using mathematical models, statistical analyses and data-centric approaches that are used to justify bullshit policies and terrible strategies. Mathwashing can occur in any stage of the analysis — it can be using the wrong kind of data, using the wrong kind of model, or even making the wrong kind of conclusions from the results provided. Whatever the cause, the results are the same — it uses the sanctity and the so-called objectivity of “math”, “data”, and “science” to justify policies and strategies with destructive, tragic and far-ranging effects.

Telling me that John McAfee said that Bitcoin's mathematics make financial bubbles impossible is mathwashing, George — the mathematical guarantees that the blockchain algorithm only guarantee that the whole damn thing works as a tamper-evident repository of data, not that fraud and asset bubbles are fundamentally impossible. Now, get your head out of your ass, and tell me how much of our life savings did you invest in the damn thing.

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Carry the Stupid

Finally take into account the one final factor that transforms your brilliant plan/strategy into the terrible idiotic clusterfuck that it truly is.

Anarch: …I may have made a slight error in my calculations.

Punchline: When you were adding the numbers up, did you remember to carry the stupid?

Anarch: YES! …no.