Facebook Troll

(Trollus familiarus)

A friend or family member who posts immediately on your status updates with the (perhaps subconscious) desire to make you look like an idiot. They may well think they are doing you a favor.

Congrats on winning the Nobel Prize, it's hard to believe you're the same guy that crapped your pants in third grade — signed, your Facebook Troll

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Recession Attention Disorder

Condition resulting from months of doing the work of 4. Exacerbated by repeated taskus interuptus

Your brain is like a shaken lava lamp. Your planning and decision making functions are like those of a squirrel in traffic.

Treatment: If you cannot manage a week on a beach, a quick fix would be to lay on your front lawn in a fetal position for as long as it takes to re-focus.

If I work another weekend I will develop a full-blown case of Recession Attention Disorder

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Taskus Interruptus

When your manager interrupts your assigned task for a different task, causing a moment of disorientation.

Can be invigorating until interrupting the interruptions causes a meltdown (distractions x 4 = confusion²)

Long-term exposure can result in recession attention disorder

I've got nothing accomplished today due to "Taskus Interruptus."

Task A, interrupted by an emergency request for information on Task B which was stopped before completion by a different request for clarification on a production problem on a previous day's task, which was immediately superseded by the need to supply a list of required equipment to perform Task C..which will begin once you finish Task A.

Got it?

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