COTI

Abbreviation for "Chat On The Internet".
A mysterious shadow organization of absurdists, artists, intellectuals and cynics said to be behind...nothing important, really. Except being funnier and better than you.

When my friend's messageboard was suddenly and cataclysmically overrun by cartoon supervillains, I knew those COTI bastards were behind it.

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oni

Big fat ugly Japanese ogre with horns, fangs, and an odd penchant for wearing tiger skins.

Not to be confused with waifish anime babes inexplicably dressed like oni.

Know what an oni looks like?

YOUR MOM

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otakukin

The horrible, fiery collision of the otaku and otherkin subcultures. I.e., people who believe they are somehow involved with/reincarnated from the souls of anime/video game characters. Japanese pop culture is literally their religion. And no, it's not a joke. They are the ultimate illustration of how utterly batshit insane the Internet has become.

After I heard about the otakukin, everything else seems sane by comparison. Even shitting dicknipples.

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otherkin

Crazy people on the internet who desperately try to make themselves seem cool by claiming to be a reincarnated version of some kind of popular, charismatic animal or a monster they heard about in a roleplaying game. Usually they justify this by insisting their daydreams have some kind of bearing on the real world. It generally does not work, except with fellow otherkin and of course furries.

Lately the otherkin have branched off into even more mind-bogglingly insane territory with the otakukin movement.

I don't care how big the wingspan of your fifty-foot-tall-humanoid-dragon-soul is, Mr. Otherkin. I still don't like you.

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Creepy Internet Stalker

A furry/anime artist/other talentless, oversensitive type who gets mad at a particular person (usually a female that they have a creepy, backwards crush on) and goes around trying to get even in such ridiculous fashions as writing innacurate, stupid definitions including their real name.

I seem to have a creepy internet stalker on urbandictionary.com

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Tanuki

The Japanese name for the raccoon-dog, Nyctereuctes procyonoides. In folklore the animal is credited with supernatural powers, including shapeshifting, money counterfeiting, and most notably of expanding its already very large scrotum to use as a drum or a weapon. Tanuki statues are a popular part of Japanese kitsch, portraying a jolly, plump little anthropomorphization of the creature, usually with a straw hat, a bottle of sake, a purse of bills for his carousing, and of course his big wrinkly testicles dragging on the ground between his feet.

The Studio Ghibli feature Pompoko was never properly imported to the United States due to its copious and unabashed supply of tanuki balls.

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tengu

Mythical bird-man goblins from the mountains of Japan. They have feathered wings on their backs, and either beaks or very long, phallic noses on their faces. They can shapeshift fully into a bird or a human to play tricks on people, or escape from danger. They dress like yamabushi, with pom-pomed sashes and small black wooden skullcaps. They often carry shakujou or magical fans made of feathers.

Tengu are credited with both exceptional skill with a sword and a wicked sense of humor, and in numerous folktales they are portrayed as mischievous, curious, rowdy, and rather gullible. The tengu king Soujoubou is said to have trained the famous warrior Minamoto Yoshitsune, and many ukiyo-e prints show the young Yoshitsune sparring with Soujoubou's bird-billed subjects.

The tengu mask on the wall at the sushi place has a nose you could dry laundry on.

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