shitty driver

Reading ESPN, Facebook, texting, or anything else on their phone going, 70+ mph, and drifting into lanes.
Runs lots of red lights and stop signs. They wait to hit brakes until they have to hard enough for all the shit in the car to fly forward. Generally have totaled several cars, gotten numerous tickets, and even had a suspended license.

They call everyone who rides with them, particularly girlfriends, harassengers when they request that they drive like a normal person so they don't have to fear for their lives.
You tend to hit your imaginary brake and death grip the "oh shit handle" while riding with them.

"My boyfriend is such a shitty driver. We almost got into two accidents and ran a stop sign because he was looking at his Facebook. I didn't think we'd make it alive."