scooter-excuse

A person who consistently turns up at scooterist related events and rallies, with no scooter.

They may well relate merry tales such as 'scooter is in the workshop/broken down/being done up/lent out', although the truth is, (even if they own a scooter at all) they have no intention of going to scooter events on a scooter as a car/van are more convenient and mean they can also fill the campsite with chav-tat such as generators/gazebos and BBQs.
They may use minor injuries (long ago healed) or family members/children as an excuse.

In the 80's for 6 months the scooter-excuse did a few local rallies on a scooter, then they disappeared for 20 years and here they are again -patches covering their flight jackets -none of which they have been to or ridden to- big on talk, small on content.

Opinion on anything technical/engineering should only be taken at your peril as they know less than a 16 year old on a twist and go.

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vejazzle

to bling up your rather down at heel Vespa motoscooter
usually with shiny tat that has no value to the scooters roadworthiness or actually any use for carrying luggage etc.

see the isle of wight scooter rally and it's infestation of comedy mods with inferior vespa and lambretta clone scooters covered in shiny tat and tupperware looking like a plumbers showroom.
i.e. look at that comedy mod on his 'vejazzled' scooter what a glitzy c**t he looks.

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Wankers dozen

A meeting of the far right British group 'Britain First', so called wankers dozen because a) they are all wankers of the highest order and b)meetings never usually number more than 12 either in collective IQ or in number of persons.
First defined in the official Rochdale -English dictionary definition.

I'd heard a boisterous meeting of people in the backroom of 'the illiterate thugs arms' (pub) but when I checked it was only Paul, Jayda and the rest of the wankers dozen .

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scootourist

someone who likes the scooter scene and it's music and vibe but hasn't got a scooter.
This can mean at best those who wish to support the scene for those who do have scooters and love to ride whatever the weather, all the way to those who wish to enjoy the 'positive' as they see it: clothes, dance, booze, social scene, soul music, bands, cameraderie, but don't want what they see as the negative aspects 'the riding hundreds of miles on underpowered machines in poor weather, fixing vintage machines yourself, spending lots of money maintaining an inherently unreliable and expensive machine.

Scootourists: 'miss the point' of scootering
Like a biker without a bike, a hells angel without the bike, leather or brothers, a soulie without vinyl or a dancefloor, they clutter the scene believing they belong when they are deluding themselves and fooling no one else.

Hey look at Rob: what's he doing here?
Did he buy a scooter?
'No He's a scootourist now' look at his clean jacket, everyone else looks damp around the edges: not him: he came in his car!
Did you wave at him?
yeah: with 2 fingers! what a loser!
the proverbial 'spare prick at a wedding'

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fuksta

someone who thinks they are a hard core gangsta but is actually the proverbial 'runt of the litter'
incapable of living in real situations, even their own family deny they exist causing them to write insulting definitions of groups of people they are jealous/frightened of.

fuksta - I'm so cool look at my new definitions
everyone else.....................................................................................

because no ones listening.

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Flagshagger

Someone who thinks patriotism can only be extreme nationalism.

Wrapping themselves tightly in their country's flag, singing ( badly and without knowing the words let alone the meanings) patriotic songs and rolling out such displays at all opportunities as proof of their 'loyalty'.

The flagshagger knows little about the history of the country but frequently re writes it to suit jingoistic, xenophobic & very frequently racist rhetoric.

All flagshaggers are the pathetic remnants of grooming gangs known as 'trumpists', 'brexiteers' or similar who they will aggressively defend in a frightening display of 'Stockholm syndrome'.

Flagshaggers are useful only for their votes and once these are used they are cast aside.

Hey have you been to 'parler' recently?
Oh no! Why would I do that? It's a septic pus filled bubble of flagshaggers just like talk radio & Fox News!

Or

Are you going to watch 'last night of the proms'?

Oh yes, just as soon as I can get the stains out of my flag from getting over excited at the latest home office advert about immigrants.

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comedy mod

Someone who thinks they are a modernist or trys to relive a youth (they think they actually had) of being a hip young teen/20 in the 1960's.
They fail miserably and become a pastiche and laughing stock.
Commonly seen wearing 'branded' parkas a piss pot helmet and riding automatic Vespa scooters or cloned Lambrettas covered in more accessories than a bathroom showroom.
Female partners although rare often wear PVC mary quant fancy dress.

Comedy mods infest the Isle of Wight any august bank holiday which sadly become a magnet for these failures of fashion.
Unable to cut the mustard at the official MOD rally in Brighton they plague the scooter rally in the Isle and deprive proper scooterists of B&Bs, bar and dance floor space.

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