unprotected sleep

Turning off the alarm clock and resuming snoozing, risking not waking up for an important task.

I had 45 minutes of unprotected sleep. Got fired, but it was worth it.

32👍 17👎

emowobble

v.

A contemporary style of dance where emaciated suburbanites with mood disorders sway back and forth to music that sounds like a billy goat doing a poetry reading over a funeral dirge.

I swear to Flying Spaghetti Monster, the next guy I see emowobble to Bright Eyes is going to get a mouthful of angry.

15👍 2👎

tru tv

The absolute worst channel of all time. Blatantly rips off already terrible shows like Pawn Stars.

Guy 1: Let's watch tru TV!
Guy 2: Get the fuck out of here. We are no longer roommates.

Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: That's it. (Shoots Guy 1)

14👍 29👎

allogy

A sweeping apology issued the following morning for offenses during night of boozing (including ones you don't remember).

It was awkward, but once I gave the allogy she calmed down.

2👍 4👎

JJJ

Stand for ( just jizz january) it’s a form of redemption for the people who didn’t perform good in DDD ( destroy dick december)

teddy: man DDD was hard pun intended i couldn’t finish it

willy : don’t sweat it man you have a second chance in JJJ

teddy : what’s JJJ

willy : just jizz january

rag tag

The suspicion that your girlfriend isn't really having her period and just wants an excuse to be a bitch.

I could have sworn she just had her period last week. She's playing rag tag, man.

27👍 41👎

pint of no return

The drink that pushes you over the edge from tipsy-but-in-control to you're-screwed-tomorrow.

I figured, 'What harm could one more Stella do?' Turned out it was my pint of no return.

12👍 2👎