TWADD

A person who has an attention span limited to the length of a twitter message, 140 characters or less.

My boss is a complete TWADD. I have to keep my status reports shorter than a tweet so he can comprehend the whole message. Anything longer and he won't read it.

5👍 2👎

fresh pressed poop

The act of squeezing recently picked up dog poop while in a plastic bag.

I picked up the dog poop using an inside out baggie and then squished it through my fingers. It was warm. I love the feeling of fresh pressed poop

2👍 4👎

Shitstracted

When you get distracted while talking a shit and tie up the bathroom for too long.

Son what are you doing in there? It’s my turn. Sorry dad… I got shitstracted watching videos on my phone.