Term used to describe the act of spanking the monkey while taking a dump.
I got really bored yesterday, so I did a Jack Shit in the bathroom
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An STD one acquires from having sex with an extremely conservative woman. The first symptom is erectile dysfunction, followed by the extreme desire to impose conservative beliefs on everybody else. The only known cure is to have sex with a gay satanist.
Girl: You cheated on me with that conservative bitch next door, and now I'm pregnant. Guess I should go and get an abortion before I leave you.
Guy: No! I refuse! Abortions are the unholy work of the liberals!
Girl: I think you need to see a doctor.
Doctor: Well, there's no doubt about it. Your boyfriend has Ann Coulter Disease.
Girl: Is he going to be okay?
Doctor: Go find a gay satanist for him to have sex with, and he'll be just fine. Now let's get you an abortion.
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The act of masturbating in one's sleep.
Teenager: Mom, can you wash my sheets? I had another wet dream.
Mom: God Dammit, have you been sleepwhacking AGAIN?
4π 2π
1. One who believes in retaining their childrens' innocence for a lot longer than it was meant to be around for.
2. A parent who refuses to acknowledge that one day their kids will learn about sex and drugs, as well as learn a few new "bad" words (crap, god, damn, etc.). They often refuse to tell their kids that sex exists while completely forgetting how their kids were created in the first place. Or that drugs are still out there, while not realizing how somebody got the idea of creating the disney channel, which is often the only TV channel their kids are allowed to watch
1. Guy 1: Look at that mother over there breastfeeding her kid. He's got to be at least ten
Guy 2: That's pretty fucked up. The mother must be a disney parent
2. Kid: Mom, what's a blowjob?
Mom: HOW DARE YOU!!! NEVER, EVER use that word again!
Kid: Why not?
Mother: Because it's a bad word. Now go watch the Disney channel.
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A word used to refer to many different japanese cartoons. Often worshipped by teenagers who really need to grow up and quit watching their stupid cartoons. Additionally, some of the terms are used for perverted inside jokes that aren't funny and that nobody understands. Not quite as annoying as disney, but it's a close second.
Girl 1: Oh my god! I love anime! It's my life!
Girl 2: Hey, I've got an idea. Let's go get some boys and (insert japanese phrase here)!
Girl 1: (giggles) you're dirty. (looks over at boy) Hey, you care to (insert japanese phrase here)?
Boy: No thanks. I think I'm gay now.
Girl 1: Then you would probably like (insert japanese cartoon name here)!
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The act of making something so safe and kid-friendly that it becomes boring and unattractive.
I can't believe it. There's all sorts of disnification going on all over this theme park. Well, at least they'll get a lot of money from disney parents now.
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The akward silence followed by hostility that quieter guys experience when talking to a girl. However, if a more outspoken guy says the exact same thing, it is tolerated and often respected. This occurs because of the assumption many (though not all) girls make that guys that don't talk much and keep to themselves are perverted.
Jackass: Care to hear a joke? (tells a dirty joke)
Girl: Hahahaha! That's funny. I'll have to remember that one.
Quieter Guy: (tells same dirty joke)
Girl: You perverted bastard! Is that all you ever think about? You'll never get any if you think jokes like that are funny. Go burn in hell, pervert!
Quieter Guy: Well, I'm probably not going to "get any" anytime soon anyway. God dammit, why do I always cause the Quiet Guy Effect no matter which girl I talk to?
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