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life of brian

A doccumentary by david attenborough on monty python

*scene from eighth episode of life of brian*

David attenborough: ...and no better place to view a monty pythons sense of comedy is just over this wall *David attenborough looks down at Brian*

*A Centurion catches Brian writing graffiti on the palace wall.*
Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go the house?
Brian: It says, "Romans go home."
Centurion: No, it doesn't! What's the Latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
Brian: Er, "Romanus"!
Centurion: Goes like?
Brian: Annus.
Centurion: Vocative plural of "Annus" is?
Brian: Er, "Anni"!
Centurion: "Romani"... *writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti* "Eunt"? What is "eunt"?
Brian: "Go".
Centurion: Conjugate the verb, "to go"!
Brian: Er, "Ire." Er, "eo," "is," "it," "imus," "itis," "eunt."
Centurion: So, "eunt" is... ?
Brian Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
Centurion: But, "Romans go home" is an order. So you must use... ? *twists Brian's ear*
Brian: Aaagh! Imperative!
Centurion: Which is...?
Brian: Aaaaagh! Er, er... "i", "i"!
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Aaaaagh! Plural, plural... er, "ite"!
Centurion: "Ite"... *writes "ite" on wall* "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion toward, isn't it?
Brian: Dative! *Centurion pulls out gladius and holds it against Brian's throat* Aaagh! Not the dative, not the dative! Er, er... accusative, accusative, "ad domum", sir, "ad domum"!
Centurion: Except "Domus" takes the...?
Brian: The locative, sir!
Centurion: Which is...?
Brian: "Domum"!
Centurion: "Domum"... *writes "Domum" on wall* Um. Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
Centurion: Hail Caesar! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

David attenborough: *turns toward the camera* Amazing

by the person who shall not be named September 9, 2007

122👍 23👎


bait and switch

Scientology with less religion, defined by the economic advantage of conning in a customer (or oftenly 'sucker') by teasing them in with a deal or other great benefit but then as they are about to pay the deal are told that the original product is not available but that a substitute is. They then employ the people to then buy a more expensive item. The original product is never revealed to the person, it is an easy economic trick

In bait and switch, a thetan is a sucker and tom cruise is the guy on the billboard with shiny teeth

by the person who shall not be named September 9, 2007

20👍 19👎


zero

The mathematical representation a.k.a 0 is rendered as signature for my name, and the sign for nothing in mathemaical terms. Invented by the Arabs and the fundamental 'first digit' of the prevailing mathematical system we use today (but not the lowest value). It is characteristic by being an irrationally acting number compared to all others and is the only number which when added to itself does not change value.

0, nothing, zero, Is there really much else to say?

by the person who shall not be named September 9, 2007

19👍 15👎


roman empire

The roman domain after the takeover of the Roman Republic by the first emperor (as the majority opinion) Octavian, known as Augustus Caesar (or majestic caesar in a fairly flat translation) it was however wracked by corruption from the inside, mismanagement by many emperors, and several other factors such as rebellions, dissillusionment, legal inconsistencies, debasement of currency, fluctuating markets, an aging and entrenched bureaucracy, peasant revolt, slave revolt, constant attacks by persian, scythian, berber, calednian and german tribes, major migrations and political intrigue so farfetched that it seemed impossible to do any good for anyone. Turned christian thanks to Constantine and the empire finally split into two halves. The western half was crushed and the eastern half became the baselieia romaion or byzantine empire.

Leaders of the roman empire:
From augustus to Romulus augustus (in the west) and Constantine XIII (in the east)

by the person who shall not be named December 25, 2007

48👍 22👎


impala

an excellent chevrolet motor car and a large gazelle which feeds on accacia trees

Second-hand Car Dealer: Which impala would you prefer?

*15 minutes later*

Gang member: What the FUCK? That guy's doing drive by's on a fucking gazelle!
Driver: West Side!

by the person who shall not be named September 9, 2007

138👍 26👎


david attenborough

THE ONLY person to even roundhouse kick Chuck Norris before Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him

The indesputable forger of all modern definitive wildlife doccumentaries is david attenborough

by the person who shall not be named September 9, 2007

97👍 8👎