holy crap

When you take a dump at church.

wife: "honey, where are you going, mass is about to start"

husband: "go on without me, i drank to much coffee this morning, i got to take a holy crap"

51👍 78👎

han solo

When you have to drop a duece real bad, and it comes out in one large clean turd and only takes one wipe of the crack. One turd and one wipe, hence han solo.

Juan: All that chinese food made me sick, i blew it up and left skidmarks everywhere!

Mark: That shit filled me up too, luckily when i went to drop a duece i had a han solo.

6👍 17👎

Alabama twat block

When your mentally retarded friend from Alabama keeps you from riding the bologna pony in the back of some dude's ride

Like when Forrest interrupted Jenny's sexcapade in the movie Forrest Gump.

Theo: "Have you seen Forrest Gump, that kid had a hell of a life!"

Juan: "That movie sucked, dude was always screwing up shit, like when he Alabama twat blocked Jenny when she was in that car"

7👍 18👎