faece fungus

the white fungus that appears on a turd that has been on the floor too long

colin came over ashen-faeced. "blimey, cole" exclaimed kevin, "it's only
faece fungus. I'll pick it up after the football"

3👍 5👎

columbian roulette

like russian roulette but EVERY chamber has a bullet

poor bastard, 'e didn' 'ave a chance. 'E woz playin' columbian roulette

13👍 13👎

labia hotdog

to have sexual intercourse without actual penetration. the labia are stretched around the penis and held in place whilst the thrusting brings ejaculation OUTSIDE the vagina. this is a common form of birth control in Korea

steven was really looking forward to a good bunk up with colin's wife but she would only give him a labia hotdog

55👍 19👎

barnstorming

when the roof of the barn has blown off and the rain gets in during a storm - as in IDS

He gave such a barnstorming performance, but zilch votes

1👍 19👎

coin operated

prostitute. on the game

his father was so mortified to find his son's next door neighbour was coin operated, he stealthily paid her a visit!

22👍 10👎

ball dribble

1. to run with the football soccer going past opponents and stopping them from getting the ball.
2. caused by a scrotum disease called bolliosis. this is manifested by very fine perforations in the scrotum which leak pus esp. during sleep.

1. alan: "he might be a useless keeper, but jammie can certainly ball dribble in the goal area."
2. colin was consumed with shame and self-pity when he woke one morning to find his meat & two veg stuck to the duvet with ball dribble

1👍 6👎

screw

prison warder

that screw wiv the tattoo, took out debbie, bought her a screwdriver and then screwed her ass off.

30👍 103👎