pocket billiards

to play with one's meat and two veg via a hole/holes in one's pocket/pockets

"why is colin walking funny like that?" questioned steven.
"he's playing pocket billiards again" kevin jealously replied

186👍 30👎

drink from the furry cup

to partake in cunnilingus, to quimguzzle

bernard was just about to drink from the furry cup when debbie farted and burned off about a foot of his chest hair

85👍 41👎

faece furniture

IKEA, MFI etc.

ann & bernard went to buy a chair from IKEA but declined because it was faece furniture

6👍 1👎

turkey baster

lesbian who wants to give birth to her own child. so called because of the infamous episode of Brookside when artificial insemination was attempted using a turkey baster

kevin thought he had scored when he pulled ms spicer at stringfellows only to discover she was a turkey baster

547👍 222👎

mars bar

a chocolate covered sweet bar

mick - "how are you liking this mars bar?"
marrianne - "ooooooooh, ooooooooh, it's LOVELY!"

60👍 46👎

deforestation

1. Forest Gate train station.
2. chopped down all de trees.
3. a shaved bearded oyster.

1. are you is goin' to de manor park, or deforestation innit?
2. the deforestation in parsloes is all but complete.
3. kylie has suffered deforestation for her work.

15👍 15👎

velcroed

to get one's moustache inextricably entwined in one's partner's bearded oyster hair

mr & mrs pavarotti had become so firmly velcroed he could not sing at vinny's barmistva. instead they got coldplay

2👍 3👎