cum tuber

a testicular growth that is caused by too much wanking without ejaculation

rosie: " at first i thought jason had two cocks but it was jus' a cum tuber."

2👍 7👎

clitty clitty clan clan

a group of stuttering lesbians

sylvie said "i'd l l l la la la like to d d da da do that"
"are y y y ya ya you in th th tha the clitty clitty clan clan clan th th tha then?" replied the next door neighbour.

9👍 7👎

chuffed to fuck

ecstatic, exceptionally happy over something

"i see alec's chuffed to fuck" commented kevin "one of his gnomes has just come third in the Miss Dagenham competition"
"blimey kev" retorted his dad "who came 1st & 2nd?"
"Two women from Keith Davis' snooker club"

20👍 11👎

spontaneous human combustion

to suddenly, and with no apparent reason, burst into flames and within minutes become a human cinder. a.k.a. SHC

defoe was running so fast towards the opponents penalty area that he suddenly suffered an acute spontaneous human combustion

35👍 12👎

crutchless panties

panties with the crutch missing

essex girl "ooh i've been wearing these crutchless panties and i think my bearded oyster may have frostbite."
paramedic. "no, it's just that you must learn to take out the fanny haddock BEFORE you put the new one in. "There's fifteen in here!"

16👍 23👎

cock shy

1. a person too frightened to have a sexual encounter
2. a sex game where three males with erections stand in formation and the opposing team throw ring doughnuts over the erections - like quoits

1. timid and cock shy she may be - but she loved her rampant rabbit.
2. "we were winning the cock shy by nine points" said trevor dejectedly, "when alec lost his erection and all his doughnuts simply dropped off."

26👍 11👎

trouting

to masturbate using a large fish

george next door got a job in a fish canning factory so he could sidle off to the bog in his break and have a trouting session. he would then sneak the used fish back on to the production line.

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