travellers

pikeys, gypsies, a clever way of allowing hostelry owners etc. to hang racist signs without actually being racist.

"quick Alec" screamed his young friend. "get that 'NO TRAVELLERS' sign up, here come a load of gippoes."
gippo - "gravel yur droive zur?"
alec - "ckoff!"

40👍 28👎

backslang

1. to talk reversing every word
2. to talk taking the front letter of each word, putting it at the back and adding "ay"

1. olleh yenttirb, swoh ruoy mub?
2. allohay rittneybay owshay ouryay umbay?

75👍 106👎

doughnut swirly

when one is crapping and eating a doughnut at the same time; as one stands to wipe one's arse, one accidentally drops the doughnut into the pan. the dilemma is; should one pick out the doughnut, wash it under the tap, and carry on eating?

colin "what's that brown stain round your north and south kev?"
kevin "i've jus' finished a doughnut swirly."

3👍 5👎

ancient history

gone for good

"joey 'ad 'is moments" exclaimed dave, "but at the end of the day 'e's ancient history."

13👍 7👎

bunch of fives

a punch in the face

he jus' went ON and ON extolling the virtues of a flat back four so Trevor gave him a bunch of fives

21👍 7👎

flak jacket

home made condom. usually made from cling film secured with an elastic band. but can be made from old parachute silk or almost anything.

"what a funny flak jacket" giggled june across the road, "that's surely tonto, one of alec's prize gnomes"

238👍 90👎

copulate

to have illicit intercourse with a serving police officer

sgt. cryer told thunderthighs that if she let him copulate with herin the panda, then he would'nt charge her with
soliciting

26👍 64👎