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Blumpkin

A gender-neutral term for the act of giving oral sex to a person who is defecating. Contrary to popular belief, blumpkins are not unique to blowjobs: as humanity progresses, our definitions so too must evolve to encapsulate the diversity of grotesque and beautiful sex acts of the wild modern world.

"She braced one leg on the wall, just above the roll of Charmin, and let a long brown roll slide from her backside as he twirled his tongue betwixt the salmon-pink folds of her frontside in a blumpkin that could only be described as socially progressive."

"I caressed his erect phallus and kneeled for a blumpkin, as the remains of his dinner were violently ejected into the porcelain bowl."

by thefutureliberalswant April 27, 2021