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Random
The money, or spare that you know has fallen in, and is in the couch that you leave there until one day when you're totally broke you dig through the couch, thus "cashing out" your couch reserves.
Person one: I can't go tonight i'm totally broke...
Person two: How long since you've called on your couch reserves?
Person one: It's been awhile, hold on...
Person one: Yeah, I can go!!! I found $15.67 in my couch reserves!!!
Textercourse is the text version of Phone Sex.
So we were in the middle of dinner, but he kept texting me dirty messages, before you know it, I had to excuse myself to the back room to relieve myself... We had an awesome textercourse.
A threat made by someone who has already been doing what they are treatening to do, but wants to make you think it's a new threat.
Person 1: If you don't work with me and help me out right now, I'm not going to ever help you again!
Person 2: (sarcastic voice) Woah! Is that a retroactive threat?!?! You haven't helped me out the last 6 times I've asked you. You're so lame.
4π 1π
When two people are texting dirty messages back and forth and a third person jumps in the conversation unexpectedly when responding to an earlier G-rated text, they in return, unintentionally receive a dirty text. They become aroused, and join the textercourse. Thus creating a Menage a text
Earlier that day Texter #1 sent a photo text of a kid crying on santa's lap to everyone in their contacts list. Hours pass...
A heated sexual exchange of texts begins with texter #2:
Texter #1 "You made me so wet right now:"
Texter #2" Send me a photo "
Texter #1 "I have been in the mood all day"
UNEXPECTEDLY Texter #3 texts a response to the G-rated photo from earler to Texter #1
Texter #3 "Ha Ha Poor thing" (referring to the sad kid photo)
Texter #1 (coufused, but hitting reply before checking the sender... "It's okay i'll masturbate while thinking of you"
Texter #3 (counfused but aroused quickly replies to the dirty text) "Awesome, can I join you"
Texter #1 realizes the mistake and notifies texter #2
Texter #1 to Texter #2... "Our conversation has just turned into a Menage a text with Texter #3"
Texter #2 "Cool, lets have a threesome"
13π 7π
When you unfriend someone on Facebook without telling them, and without them figuring out that it's you that unfriended them.
"Dude, I totally unfriended Paul, and he has so many Fakebook friends, he didn't even notice"
Ha Ha "you're such a ghost friend"
11π 7π
An injury that occurs while binge drinking, but due to the amount of alcohol consumed, doesn't become painful until the morning after.
1 AM...Woman one is drunk, waiting in line for the bathroom and standing with her hand on a door jam she moves to let some one pass and the door slamms on her thumb.
Woman two: OMG!!! You just totally smashed your thumb!!! Are you okay?
Woman one: Wow, amazingly yes!!! I'm okay! Let's go dance!
8 AM Woman wakes up with a giant thumb and can't bend it.
Woman one calls Woman two: Hey, did I smash my thumb last night?
Woman two: Uhh Yeah
Woman one: I think it's broken, I'm going to get it x-rayed
Woman two: Ha, Ha you totally have a binjury!!!
4π 2π
When the number of your friends on Facebook decreases, but because you have so many friends, you are not sure who unfriended you.
"Dude, yesterday I had 311 friends and today I have 310!!!! I totally got ghost friended"
2π 2π