Joseph Wilbert

A god among many, better known as “Joseph Josh Morgan Mike Morgan Steel Toes Dane Mulrooney Peter Jesse J Rock Swanson Lied To The Guy In The Chair Thats The away She Goes Wilbert,” but commonly referred to as, “Jojo.”

Guy 1:Hey, what’s that you’re reading about?

Sophisticated Gentlemen: Oh, nothing. Just reading about this chummy asshole named Joseph Wilbert.

Mattiko

A martial art better known as the “art of absorption.” Created by the Mattanese in the early 1200s, Mattiko was created as a form of self defence using very minimal effort, and no striking the other opponent. Very useful in combat, specifically against punches.

Guy 1:Dude, I just punched you in the face and my hand just bounced off! How the fuck did you do that?

Guy 2:Simple. I just used Mattiko.