Slobby Bobby

A roommate or individual that's a slob.

* Sees that fellow random roommate selected very clean box on survey, feeling good
*Walks into the apartment for the first time. Looks at the floor and realizes it's caked in dirt that not even my Swifter wet jet could remove
*Opens up sink cabinet to find 100s of crumbled up plastic bags

*Walks deeper into the common area and notices that boxes are ~everywhere~, behind sofa, under TV, impairing functionality of the door
* Texts best friends, "My roommate is a Slobby Bobby"

cooled

Roasts are for spring, summer, and fall. You DO NOT roast in winter. Roasted in winter is #cooled

When someone uses a bad caption that doesn’t make sense like “b12thday” or “ready for ski season” when it’s the end of December. B12thday isn’t a pun #cooled. It is end of December, ski season started a while ago #cooled

13👍 2👎

When life gives you lemons

When life gives you lemons, you say thank you. Why do you need lemonade? Huh. Why do you got be soooo extra and burn some fossil fuels while you’re processing your lemonade. Lemons are HEALTHY!!!!! EAT THE LEMON!!!!!!

When life gives you lemons, eat the lemon it’s healthy smelthy

16👍 19👎

phrozen

When it’s beyond cold and you are unable to feel the necessary sensations to life

That 0 degree day had me phrozen