Hood Baby

First referenced in Dave Chappelle's Special "Killing Them Softly", the hood baby can be spotted selling weed on a street corner of his/her natural environment (ie a ghetto) at an absurdly late hour (3am is ideal)....common characteristics of a hood baby are glassy eyes, droopy shoulders and dejected stare.

Now this is when I know I'm in a bad neighborhood, you only see this in the worst neighborhoods. Remember, this was 3 o'clock in the morning. I looked out the window, and there was a fucking baby standing on the corner. And the baby didn't even look scared, he was just standing there. And it made me sad you know, because I wanted to help the baby. I was like, "Mm mm I don't trust you either, click! clllick! The old baby-on-the-corner trick, eh? Not gonna fall for that shit. But where is this limousine driver?" As time goes by I start feeling worse, I was like, "What the hell is wrong with me, I'm scared of a baby! But this baby could be in trouble, he may need my help. I gotta do something." But I wasn't gonna get out of the car. I'm serious, man. I just cranked the window open a little bit. "Hey baby! Baby, go home, man! It's 3 o'clock in the morning man, what the fuck are you doing up?" The Hood Baby says, "I'm selling weed, nigga!"

58👍 15👎