one-downer

This person usually will have an even story or event worse than the situation you are or have experienced. The opposite of a "one-upper"

I was telling Maria about how I wrecked my motorcyle last week and Crystal, the one-downer, proceded to explain how she was in an accident and lost her leg, punctured a lung and apparenly the hospital food was shiite and came back to life as hedgehog..

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cubist

A person who works in a cubicle and is hardly seen ever seen outside of it during working hours, does not engage in office banter, office politics,office gatherings or discussions.

you can ask Rick to come to lunch, but he prolly won't....he's a cubist.