Jessica

Definitely not wifey material. A basic bar hoe that seeks refuge in bars and night clubs so that unsuspecting men can't tell exactly how orange she is as a result of her attachment to layers of bronzer and/or tanning beds. You'll most likely find her gravitating towards men out of her league, or even more pathetic: taken. If you make friends with a Jessica, don't ask her to do your makeup or else you might open your eyes to a raccoon staring back at you in the mirror. She's the greatest friend temporarily, but next thing you know every night is ruined because she's too fixed on another guy and you're stuck covering her ass. One thing is for certain, you'll always look amazing next to Jessica even on your worst of days. At least there's that upside.

Pedro: Hey, man. I need to borrow your Clorox.

Ronnie: Sure thing. Why you need it?
Pedro: Jessica was over last night. I need to get her face off my pillow.

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