bleed the matrix

A slang phrase originating in Britain that’s roughly equivalent to the American phrases ‘reinvent the wheel,’ ‘think outside the box,’ or ‘push the boundaries.’

To better understand the term, it’s helpful to think of a mathematical matrix, which consists of a bounded series of numbers, arranged in rows and columns, that forms a rectangle.

To have blood running down such an orderly series would imply that someone has imposed chaos or disorder onto something that was once orderly.

Look man, I’m not trying to bleed the matrix or anything. I just don’t think they should charge me a fookin’ quid to use a public restroom in the tube.

smugly

adj./noun

portmanteau of "smug" and "ugly." describes a person who is ugly, yet has the sense of entitlement, superiority complex and impatience for others that one would traditionally expect from a dimepiece.

usually applies to ugly girls whose rich parents feel sorry for them and overcompensate by spoiling them senseless

Jon R: Oh... sorry man. Did she at least have a good personality?

Tim R: Nah. She's smugly.

21👍 7👎

boomerflake

Portmanteau of ‘boomer’ and ‘snowflake.’

It’s common knowledge that Trump-loving boomers often use words like ‘snowflake’ to disparage members of younger generations who stand up for basic decency and human rights or get offended when those values are violated or attacked.

‘Boomerflake’ is a word for a particular kind of boomer - one who has absolutely no respect for people who aren’t white, middle-aged, natural-born, and wealthy, but also erupts in righteous indignation every time someone challenges his hegemony or points out his prejudices.

Middle-Aged Asshole: Obama was a Muslim. ‘Hussein’ is Obama’s middle name and it was also Saddam Hussein’s last name. Therefore by the transitive property of bullshit, Obama is Muslim and Crowdstrike orchestrated the September 11th terrorist attacks.

Ordinary Millennial: OK boomer.

Middle-Aged Asshole: That’s ageist! I’m a member of the greatest generation! We invented mortgage-backed securities and sought the answer to life’s big question: ‘what if we had ALL the money?’

Millennial: OK boomerflake.

bathroom ninja

A person who occupies a bathroom stall and refuses to make any BM noises until the entire bathroom has been vacated. Occasionally, a bathroom ninja will even go so far as to stand on the toilet seat to avoid detection by other bathroom-goers.

Jacob hid in the shadows cast by the stall walls like a bathroom ninja until the final shitter had left the restroom.

dennihilated

portmanteau of "denied" and "annihilated," indicating utter domination, humiliation and disgrace at the hands of a rival.

Jon R: Yo, the Detroit Lions just got dennihilated.

Tim R: No shit.