Vacation Head

When a person does not accomplish anything at work because all they think about is their upcoming vacation.

Shane: "Jason please complete your work before you leave for vacation."

Jason: "No problem boss, I will have that done today."

Shane: "Hey, did Jason complete his work before vacation?"

Craig: "Hell no, that lazy bastard had vacation head."

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asspples

The smell of ass and freshly picked apples.

Dude, I just walked out of a room that smelled like asspples.

Going Subway

When the Subway employee takes to long to take your order or messes up your sandwich so bad that one has no other choice but to Go Subway on that employee.

Rick - {Waiting at the counter for 5 minutes}

Sub employee - May I help you?

Rick - I would like a Cold Cut please.

Sub employee - {After making the Sandwich} What would you like on your BMT sir?

Rick - Listen you dumb BITCH, I waited for 5 fucking minutes only for you to take my order and you fucked that up too... {Continues for many minutes.}

Now thats Going Subway!

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Smitches

A group of co-workers that waste a great deal of time outside smoking. If one member of the group needs a smoke then all must join in the activity so they don’t feel left out. These people are often lazy, worthless and are around only to keep a seat warm. e.g. Smoking bitches

Craig – Where did Jeremy go?

Shane – Motherfucker is out smoking with all his Smitches again.

Craig – That son of a bitch tossed one of his butts in my trash can, lets go beat the shit out of the Smitches.

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cacfuckti

Illegal mexicans whom stick their peckers in cactus plants to get off while imigating to the US. Its the only thing moist in the desert.

QUE? Me CacFuckti!

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Cheerio Landmind

When small children drop cheerios all over the floor and an adult later steps on one. Instead of exploding like a landmind, you hear a crunch and the cheerio turns to a fine powder that is almost impossible to clean up without a vacuum.

Heather: "Anna please eat your cheerios in the chair!!!"

Anna: "OK Mommy!" (Running off with cheerios in hand to see what is outside leaving a trail of cheerios.)

Tom: (Wakes from sleep, another long night of taking care of the screaming kids) "Oh I am so tired.." CRUNCH "Oh damn it, I just stepped on a cheerio landmind. Get the vacuum!!! ANNNNAAAAA!!!!!!"

Cheerio Landmine

When small children drop cheerios all over the floor and an adult later steps on one. Instead of exploding like a landmind, you hear a crunch and the cheerio turns to a fine powder that is almost impossible to clean up without a vacuum.

Heather: "Anna please eat your cheerios in the chair!!!"

Anna: "OK Mommy!" (Running off with cheerios in hand to see what is outside leaving a trail of cheerios.)

Tom: (Wakes from sleep, another long night of taking care of the screaming kids) "Oh I am so tired.." CRUNCH "Oh damn it, I just stepped on a cheerio landmine. Get the vacuum!!! ANNNNAAAAA!!!!!!"