spiffy

An all purpose cleaner invented by Dr. Nick Rivera.

Troy: I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as ``Buck Henderson, Union Buster'' and ``Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory''

Troy: I'm here to tell you about `Spiffy!', the twenty-first-century stain remover. Let's meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera.

Nick: Troy, I brought with me the gravestone of author and troubled soul Edgar Allen Poe! (exhibits a grimy tombstone)

Troy: One of our best writers.

Nick: Yes, but unfortunately, a century of neglect has turn this tombstone into a depressing eyesore.

Troy: So what? I guess we're going to have to throw it away.

Nick: Not so fast, Troy! With one application of Spiffy, you'll think the body's still warm! (applies some Spiffy, removes all the grime)

Troy: Quoth the raven, ``What a shine!''

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channel 1

A form of propaganda used in public schools. It is basically 15 minutes of military and anti-drug commercials with 1 or two minutes of biased 'news' in between.

Channel 1: JOIN THE NAVY!

Students:(in unison) Yes, master.

Channel 1: IF YOU SMOKE WEED ONCE YOU WILL DIE!!!

Students:(in unison, again) Yes, master.

Channel 1: BUSH IS AN EXTREMELY HANDSOME, BRAVE, INTELLIGENT LEADER!

Students:(in unison) Yes, he is, isn't he?

Me:(destroys TV with bat.) FORM YOUR OWN OPINIONS DAMMIT!

Students:(Unison) BUSH IS AN EXTREMELY HANDSOME, BRAVE, INTELLIGENT LEADER!

Me:FUUUUUUCCCK!

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rap

Rap is a genre of 'music' that consists of three or four different notes played simultaneously while 1 or 2 people go "UH UH UH! Shoot all da bitches and smoke all dat weed."
Rap is an acronym for Retards Attempting Poetry

Gangsta Rappa: Hey, have you heard that new rap song entitled, "Bitch Shootin' Gang Bang Weed Orgy"?

Me: Rap SONG? SONG?!? What qualifies that as a song? There isn't even any singing it!

Gansta Rappa:(confused look) Huh?

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