boston bidet

an obscure sex act practiced primarily by people in new england, in which a man in a samuel adams costume fills his anal cavity with beer, then farts it out of his arse in a graceful, arcing stream, whereupon it lands on the lower back of a young redheaded woman, and streams down her buttcanyon and over her twice baked potato, into the eager mouth of a person dressed as paul revere.

ben affleck: you feel like hitting a boston bidet with me right now?
matt damon: duh hickey.
ben affleck: okay, grab your paul revere costume.
matt damon: i'm already wearing it under my clothing right.
ben affleck: okay, sick.
matt damon: okay cool.

4👍 4👎

dumpskin mcmurphy

when you #assfart into "le toilet" and let loose a funky #boomboom.
typically accompanied by a big swig of cillian's irish red.
this was coined by Dogellis O'Shaughnessee, former preist of Vincent's Parish, Vilnius.

broski, i ripped a #dumpskin mcmurphy that rocked the whole continent.
which continent?
"the continent"
you mean europe?
no dude, 'stralia.
i thought you meant 'frica.
who you think you are, a #fartdoctor?
i'm terronce jimes "trip" beguddybetter
i'm Danold Ruckoworth
Aight

staint

this is what happens when you fail to properly cleanse the grundle region on a regular basis. your taint gets staint. often it's brown at first but can take on more complex hues of purple and smoked caramel over time. experts say that ancient mesopotamians even cultivated staint patterns by eating diarhettic, richly hued foods. those with the most profound of staints could be smelt from miles away, as far as central europe.

i've been working on my staint. haven't cleansed in over 6 months.
that's a topic of disgustion.
i'm reaching for my goal.

stainfart

if a person blows a fat brown wind, and a bit of shit trickles out into the underpence, that's a stainfart, otherwise known as #squirtblast.

ah fuck, i fucking stainfarted
ah cool
ah shit, it's a baddy
ah, too bad, too bad

blasticist

Sometimes used synonymously with #fartographer, a blasticist refers more specifically to a scholar of ancient farts. Among the most decorated blasticists of the late Victorian age was Ismael Afart. In addition to his published works on classical blasting, including his most famous, “Blasting Off in Ancient Persia,” he also left behind several volumes of erotic poetry in Arabic, which celebrated the beauty of the anus.

I went to Yale in the hopes of becoming a celebrated blasticist.