turdologist

A turdologist is one who studies turdology.

I am a turdologist. I study turdology.

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shartoloading

Shartoloading is the practice of consuming vast quantities of laxatives to aid sharting. It is commonly practised among professional shartists and competitors in martial sharts events.

"I have to shartoload for tomorrows martial sharts competition"

"Wow, that was a good shart!! Have you been shartoloading?"

three point turd

A three point turd is a particularly nasty form of turd that occurs subsequent to the consumption of many samoosas.
It burns like hell and feels like it has three sharp corners.

Three point turds are commonly done by Indians, Malays, Hindus and other eastern denominations which are all commonly fond of samoosas, and are all known by one or more of the terms: Curries, Tjarras, Koelies, towel-heads and diaper-tops.

"Goodgollyman, dat samoosa waz verry hot! I hev just dun a three point turd in muy undarodz!"
"Don't make your problems my problems, towel-head."

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Hardening of the sharteries

When the scene of a shart is left unattended over an extended period of time the sharticles, or particles of shart begin to harden due atmospheric exposure.

This results in the shart forming a thin crusty lining in the jocks which although uncomfortable, is sometimes preferable to admitting to having performed the initial shart in the first place.

"I knew I should have changed after that shart. Now I've got hardening of the sharteries."

"Madeline is walking a bit gingerly today, maybe she's got hardening of the sharteries..."

onbefoklik

South African slang. An expression of dissaproval, dissapointment, or displeasure.
The opposite of befoklik

"Can you believe that man, he de-burrs his offcuts?"
"Onbefoklik!"

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Bokbagasie

Pronounced: "Bok-ba-gaasie"

A large lump of uncertain origin located directly behind the ear. It causes the ear concerned to protrude at 90 degrees to the head. It ranges in size from about the diameter of a golf ball to that of a small melon.

There are varying theories as to the cause of this phenomenon, the most popular being that it is caused by partially digested fragments of swiss roll that take up residency behind the ear when there is no space for them in the belly.

The bokbagasie can be surgically removed, but this is not often done because of the extremely high rate of re-occurence. some bokbagasies have been known to re-occur as little as three hours after being removed.

"Hey bokkie, what did YOU see this morning...?"

"Bok-bok-bok-BAGASIE!!"

"My word, how radiant your bokbagasie is looking today"

Shart

a) halfway between a shit and a fart.
b) a wet fart
c) a fart that smells so bad it could actually be a shit.

Person 1: *farts badly*
Person 2: "Faaaak bru, that was a shart"

"Man I think I just sharted!"

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