hot lettuce

An exquisite sex act requiring a bagged salad from a local market, a woman's accessible anal cavity, and deep, meaningful desire. First, a man (any man) closes his fist around a portion of the salad. He then lovingly inserts his fist into the woman's anus for a duration of their joint consent. When the couple is sufficiently aroused, the man releases the salad before removing his hand from the woman's anus. With the salad inside, the two enjoy a standard round of anal sex. The man must ejaculate onto the salad, as a dressing. Finally, the act is completed upon receipt of the "hot lettuce" by the man's mouth, eating the sumptuous morsel from her pooping cavity.

"No thank you, waiter. My wife and I will dessert at home with a steaming bowl of hot lettuce."

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