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Random
Good fun. Something funny as used in Northern Ireland and made famous by comedian Frank Carson.
36π 14π
Stupid Northern Irish protestants who can't spell the word families but insist on spelling it familys.
Orangemen remember the battle of the boyne, fought in 1690. They have marched on the 12th of July for many hundreds of years commemorating the victory of William of Orange, a protestant Dutch prince, over the catholic, Scottish King James.
The only time in recent memory they did not march was during the two World Wars. The reason for this was because they didn't want the Brits to see that they were all hiding in their houses and to afraid to go to war and fight for their country. Unlike the catholics who signed up in large numbers to fight the Germans.
See that usless pile of shite shaking in his boots, that's a typical orangeman.
401π 241π
After 6 days of hard work, God had a few minutes to spare. He looked at all the left over crap from his labours and thought, what the fuck am i gonna do wer all this shit thats left over. He gathered it all up and chucked it to the side. Some years later cavemen arrived on the east coast of Ireland in boats made out of tree trunks and found Gods unwanted crap and called it Dublin. Since those days all the human crap produced in Ireland has somehow made its way to Dublin. Today we know this crap as, Dubliners.
How to spot a Dubliner. Copy and paste the following: 33, show it to some one in Dublin and ask them to read it out loud. If they say turty tree then they are indeed the crap God rejected.
Dubliners are usually lazy and ugly. Avoid the "Liberties" at all costs because its full of low life scallies...No on reflection avoid all of Dublin but if you cannot avoid the place you better have all the cash reserves of Fort Knocks in your pocked and be prepared to pay a million times more for stuff than anywhere else in the world.
If you do visit Dublin then remember, the only good Dubliner is a dead Dubliner.
Dublin, fuck off, i aint stupid enough to go there and if i was i would rather be hanged, drawn and quartered for my stupidity.
20π 93π
Belfast name for the common stickleback found in lakes, rivers, ponds and dams.
Hey Jimmy, I gat a wee jam jar and a wee fishing net, wanna go down the wats and catch some spricks.
Naa, thanks all the same Paddy but me da's takin us up tha Ballymena ta see thon sheep shaggin contest
Fuck Jimmy ur a lucky bastard, me da never takes us anywhere good.
18π 12π
A 3 mile long road in Belfast, Northern Ireland stuffed to the brim with dole scroungers, smelly unwashed bastards, terrorist cunts, millies and spides, kids who don't know who the fuck their da is, females who walk the streets in their pj's and slippers at all times of the day.
No major boys schools on the road because they don't need education as they only aspire to signing on the dole, stealing, drinking and mugging people weaker than themselves.
Wear a tie on the Falls Road and the spides are sure to kick your head in coz you look like a fucken queer boy.
My brother is going out with a millie from the Falls Road, the eejit can't string two words together and thinks the PIL is a band formed by Johnny Rotten after the Sex Pistols split. He needs his head luckin at going out wer thon one.
14π 24π
Small Baltic country formally part of the USSR.
Flat and un-interesting place. Not so many Lithuanians there as they have left in vast numbers to better themselves in countries more developed than their own.
During WWII Lithuanians actively helped the Germans rid their country of Jews. For this reason you will not find many Jews there today. This is an event in their past they would like to keep secret but sadly it is a fact.
Lithuanians have little of interest to say. The national sport is basketball but this is rapidly being taken over by leaving Lithuania as the national passtime.
Lithuanian, don't go there unless you have nothing better to do.
48π 293π
Favourite passtime for Ballymena men.
Sammy's ma: Sammy where you goin. Ur never in this house hey.
Sammy: fack sake ma, am just goin do thon car park beside Kentucky Fried Mouse hey.
Sammy's ma: Why ya forever hangin round thon dump wee lad hey.
Sammy: Ma what planet u on then hey. Thars a big sheep shaggin do on thar the night like, hey.
Sammy's ma: Get thon sheep skin coat fram under them thar stairs and take yer wee sister hey.
Sammy: wat fur ma, hey.
Sammys ma: coz i taul ya ta do it and dont ya back cheek me wee lad or i'll tell ur da when he cams back fram tha bog hey.
Q: What do ya call a sheep tied to a lamp post in Ballymena?
A: A leisure centre.
Ballymena chav to his chav mate.
Hey Billy, I gat meself a new girlfriend hey.
Friends reply: What ya call her then Billy hey.
Billy's reply, baaaaaaaaarbarrrrraaaaa
Friend: how ya chat her up then hey
Billy: Get ur wool aff ya fackan sexy bitch coz ur gonna get it tha night hey
6π 8π