Charlie Brown Teacher

Any speech that has been slurred from drunkenness, distorted by lousy loudspeakers, or just rendered incomprehensible by other means. Refers to the "whaa-whaa-whaa" trombone effect from old Peanuts TV specials, indicating when an adult was speaking. Originally used in this context Feb. '06 on the DCRTV.COM (Washington area radio and television) website .

(Loudspeakers at Philadelphia's 30th Street Amtrak station) "Whaa-whaa-whaa Track 6".

Ed: Sounds like they hired a Charlie Brown Teacher to do the announcements.

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hydraulics

(Addendum to an existing word)
Slang term for the penis -- in limited use, originated on the syndicated "Greaseman" radio show in Washington DC.

She grabbed my manly hydraulics and gave them such a sss-squuuuee-eeze!

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Asshole Angels

A rather lofty euphemism for "dingleberries"; small bits of toilet paper that hang on for dear life after a bathroom trip. Useful when "dingleberry" comes across as too juvenile, or when female company finds the word too disgustingly vivid.

Name is derived from the (mostly) white color and winged shape of the paper pieces.

(Sound effect: Ploink! Man 1 screams)
Man 2: Dude, what are you doing in the bathroom?
Man 1: Just plucking out a few asshole angels.

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JSIK

Acronym: shorthand for "Just So I Know", used in corporate emails. Similar in use to JSYK (Just So You Know), another way of saying FYI.

JSIK, I have 2 wks of vacation this year, right?

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dassall

Street pronunciation of "that's all." Related to "dassit."

Porky Pig Cartoon: "That's All, Folks!"
Inner City Cartoon: "Dassall, muthaf***azz!"

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square shit

A violent emotional reaction; a conniption; an over-the-top angry response to a situation. More seismic than simply "he shit his pants." A square shit is painful and difficult, due to the presence of pointed corners at the edges, so to "take a square shit" means one's reaction to a situation or its outcome must be equally painful and likely beyond hope.

"My dad took a square shit when he saw what I did to the front bumper of his car."

or

"I took such a square shit when I heard I was working for Matt New Year's Eve."

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Zapple

Literally, "zapped nipple". Walk across a carpet on a dry day, then touch a companion - male or female - through their clothing on their chest to deliver a static shock directly to their areola. The sensation is not painful or lasting, but is hard to forget. Also known as the "Areola Borealis"

He: "Hey, ever have a Zapple?"
She: "What is that, iced tea?"
He: "Nope (zap!)"
She: "OW! You @#$% ! ! !"

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