John Barber

The physical embodiment of dirt, not only does this vile creature lie 24/7 but also goes out of his way to stay well away from anything remotely hygienic. In addition to the blocks of bellchesse that engulf his chode and constantly put him off, he also is sexually attracted to dogs and has various different branded ice lollies stuck between the many many chins and rolls of fat he has.

Friend 1 - “mate did u see how John Barber that toilet was”
Friend 2 - “dude I’ve seen dogs shit out cleaner things”